


Devastation

by L_Sincline



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Canon Compliant, Complete, Emotional Hurt, POV Third Person, Technoblade-centric (Video Blogging RPF), no beta we die like wilbur soot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 13:54:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29472804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/L_Sincline/pseuds/L_Sincline
Summary: Its not often the Blood God finds himself feeling as strange as he does as he returns home from a day of losses, but this loss hurt more than most, and he isn't sure why.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 35





	Devastation

Not thinking was something he typically found hard, but it was far easier than he was used to today. Even now, he couldn’t think about why it was this way. The trek back home was blind, and it probably would’ve been even if it wasn’t snowing. The noise in his head blended together, loud enough to create a loud ringing. It was strange, far too strange. It was all muddled, he could tell that there were still voices, but they simply didn’t register. It was all white noise, nothing more, nothing less. 

The cabin appeared in the distance, he found himself locking his sights on it, as if grasping onto something familiar to look forward to. Smoke rose steadily from the chimney- Phil had kept the fire going. The closer he got the more aware he became of how blank he really was. What would he tell Phil? He didn’t know what to tell himself. Walking up the stairs to get to the doors was as steady as his subconscious confrontation with his anger that had swelled over. He was so used to anger being loud, sometimes violent, but this was like a pot boiled over. It seeped into the stairs below him and settled in his chest, it weighed his mind and deafened his ears. It clenched his teeth and dug marks into his palm. But it also felt like disappointment in the pit of his stomach, a sadness that he pushed down and ignored. He wasn’t sad. He couldn’t be sad. There was nothing to be sad about. Be angry, be angry- he repeated to himself as his brows furrowed and he threw open the door with smoldering rage, the words slowly dissolving as he naturally adopted their wishes.

The wind created a vacuum, slamming the door shut behind him as he stood in the frame, broad shoulders taking up most of the space as he kept his eyes glaring at the floor. Phil had gotten up, he could hear his shoes turn on the wood and the subtle rustle of his clothes fabric. He smelled vaguely of smoke, for a brief moment, he wondered if something had gone wrong with the chimney. His distraction was ripped away by Phil’s voice. 

“Techno…?” His voice was steady, but he’d known Phil for long enough to pick out the slight, dripping concern. Techno scowled. “Techno, what happened?” The older man took a few steps closer, as if trying to read his face. “Where's Tommy?”

Techno snapped his head up, the weighted, unfamiliar anger flaring back up within seconds as he stared daggers into Phil’s worried eyes. Phil must’ve seen the anger too, Techno felt a twinge of guilt in that moment as Phil shifted his weight back, ready to pull away from the unfamiliar behavior. 

“Tommy  _ ran.”  _ He snarled, “Ran back to Tubbo, back to L’manburg.” Phil’s frown deepened. “He  _ betrayed  _ us!” 

Us. Was that really what he meant to say? Coming out of his mouth the ‘us’ had felt like a lie. But he tossed it aside, it was just his brain acting strange, wasn’t it? It was true, Tommy had betrayed them. 

“I don’t…” Phil began, standing his ground as watched Techno wearily for any sign of another adverse reaction. “I don’t understand. What- ran? Why?” 

“Because he’s a  _ coward _ Phil, that's why. Always desperate to be the hero, never willing to stop and take a look around.” Techno found himself brushing past Phil to get to his chests, “Doesn’t listen to his head- always listens to his heart.”  _ Doesn’t think about anyone else _ “Never stays loyal, goes back to the people who punish him most.” Techno let a huff of air out of his nose as he threw open a chest and rummaged through it, grabbing what he was looking for and brushing past Phil again, dropping down the ladder. “Always thinks he’s the smartest in the room!” Techno continued, yelling now. 

“What are you doing, mate?” Phil called out nervously from above.

“Always willing to throw away anything for those damn discs!” He roared as he threw the TNT down the hole into Tommy’s room, holding the flint and steel steadily in his hands, raised confidently above the hole down. His chest heaved up and down as he stared down into the dark room, clutching the flint and steel like his life depended on it now.

“Never loyal…” He breathed out quietly. 

With conviction, he sparked the flint and steel and quietly backed away from the hole. The bang that followed shook the floor he stood on. The ringing in his ears died, and it was silent. Nothing from phil, nothing from the voices, the entire world around him seemed to have run out of noise. The anger drained from his chest, as if it had pooled into the flint and steel he dropped it to the ground. The flint and steel clinked to the stone floor, and the sadness he’d felt earlier spread, weighing him down further, seeping into every corner of his being as he stood still, watching the hole as if by some miracle Tommy was going to come climbing out of it, asking why Techno had blown up his room. 

“Techno?” Phil’s voice came from upstairs by the ladder finally.

“Go to bed Phil.” He demanded quietly. 

He could almost hear the reluctance of Phil in the way his silence blanketed the cabin. Phil quietly shuffled away from the ladder, listening to Techno’s desire to be left alone. Though he almost wished he could’ve lived with his mind blanketed in silence forever, it was that moment that the voices returned. 

_ Tommy? _

_ Where's Tommy? _

_ Tommy hole… Tommy hole _

_ Check on Tommy… where is Tommy? _

_ Stealing?  _

_ See Tommy _

With steps that he didn’t feel in control of, he made his way to the ladder down to Tommy’s room and dropped down. It was pitch black, any light that had been there destroyed by the blast. He breathed in heavily, smoke and particles swimming in his mouth. He wasn’t here, he wouldn’t be here. He found himself making his way over to where the bed had once been and sitting on the now uneven ground. It was like the sadness weighed him down, and he wrapped his cape closer around his body, curling into himself against the wall. 

Techno couldn’t recall the last time he cried. He couldn’t recall ever feeling like this at all really. He was disappointed in himself. What had he done wrong? What mistake had he made? Was this their ending from the start? Could he have done anything to change it? Techno found himself going through every step of their journey in his head- what had happened? He’d done nothing but protect Tommy, and sure, maybe he  _ wasn’t  _ good at it. He hadn’t known what he was doing, but part of him had thought that he was doing  _ okay  _ at least. Now Tommy was gone, equipped with the armor he’d gifted him and his prized axe. And Techno was here, sat crying in the rubble of a shitty sub basement that one of the most annoying kids he knew had built. Tommy hadn’t betrayed Phil, it wasn’t an ‘us’ kind of situation. Tommy had betrayed  _ him _ . He didn’t know why. He didn’t know why he even cared. 

Why? Why did he care? What about Tommy was so special that he’d been so vulnerable with him? Or at least, he had been in his head. Maybe Tommy just  _ was _ the hero. Loveable and true, up to the very end. But what did that make him? Clearly not the beloved mentor, or even just the mentor he’d hoped he was. Was he Tommy’s villain? But then why had Tommy trusted him? Had Tommy ever really trusted him at all? 

Too many questions made his head hurt. He rubbed his eyes briefly, in this moment he felt incredibly small. Like a stray mark on a paper even though he was much more than that. A part of him also felt like a kid still, maybe it was the crying on the ground thing. Or maybe it was the inexperience. There was a reason the pen was mightier than the sword, and being nicknamed  _ the blade _ probably showed what end of that saying he was on. 

He wasn’t some great leader, he wasn’t a  _ hero _ , but he’d wished he’d at least been enough. 

He looked up to stare at the damage he’d done to the room. He…  _ regretted it.  _

_ What if Tommy comes back? _

_ Where will Tommy stay? _

_ Tommy’s things! _

He shook his head slightly, huffing out his nose once more. Tommy wouldn’t be coming back- even though clearly a small part of him wanted the obnoxious boy to. He craned his neck up to see the ceiling, at least it didn’t look all that fragile, though he would probably have to put supports under it eventually. He’d been too impulsive to think about how he was possibly damaging his own home. He screwed his eyes shut for a brief moment before sighing and standing, pushing himself up with the wall. 

He was tired, more tired than he could remember being for a while now. Was that what sadness did? Drain you until all you want to do is sleep? He wouldn’t be able to sleep for a bit, he figured. The voices had come back in full swing, voicing plenty of the concerns he wished he could ignore. So for now, he would prepare for tomorrow. He clenched a rung of the ladder as he looked up at it. Whatever he did tomorrow, he was certain it would sever his ties to Tommy for a long, long time. But he wouldn’t allow himself to look back. Slowly but surely he made his way up the ladder, away from Tommy’s room, and towards a murky horizon. 

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy the sad as always! Or maybe you didn't find it sad, who knows!


End file.
